JOY "Sarai" March 16

Slightly Bad Girls of the Bible
March 16, 2011

Sarai------Genesis 11-16

I.       Princess Bride
II.      Sari Takes Charge
III.     Mean Girls

Two families from the state of New York were studied very carefully. One was the Max Jukes family and the other was the Jonathan Edwards family.  They were both born in 1703. The anthropologists, researching them, were able to obtain unbelievable amounts  of genealogical data, and what they discovered, in their study, is remarkable:::::::: even though there are exceptions, they found that "like generations" do beget "like generations".

Max Jukes was an unbelieving man, born of an unbelieving mother, and he married a woman of like character, who lacked principle. And among their known descendants, over 1200 were studied. 310 of them became professional vagrants; 440 of them, physically wrecked their lives by a debauched lifestyle; 130 of them, were sent to prison, for an average of 13 years each-----and 7 of them were imprisoned for murder. There were over 100 of them who became alcoholics; 60 of them became habitual thieves; and 190 of them became public prostitutes. Of the 20, who learned a trade, 10 of them learned that trade in a state prison. It cost the state about $1,500,000, to take care of them, and they made no contribution, whatsoever, to society.

Jonathan Edwards, on the other hand was was the son of Esther Edwards, a woman who loved the Lord and wanted her children and her children's children, to love Him too. He was her only child, and he became a distinguished theologian, and a renowned preacher. He married a woman, from a godly family, who had a deep relationship with the Lord, herself. Their known descendants, were about as different from the Jukes family, as night is from day. 300 of them became clergymen, missionaries, and theological professors; over 100 of them became college professors; over 100 of them became lawyers, with 30 of them being judges; 60 of them became medical doctors; over 60 of them became authors of good, classic books, with several of them being well-established, well-honored editors; and14 became presidents of prestigious universities. There were numerous giants in American industry that emerged from this family. And 3, became United States congressmen, and one (Aaron Burr), became the vice-president of the United States.

This example of the contrast between these 2 families is a perfect way for us to begin our study of Sarai, the beloved wife of Abram. She was, by no means, a perfect woman, which we can clearly see, when we study her life, in the book of Genesis. But we are told in Hebrews 11:11, in Galations 4:21-31, and in 1st Peter 3:6, that she was a woman, of great faith and steadfastness, in the Lord, which, often manifested itself, in loving submission to her husband. She deserves the title and the acclaim, that should be given to the Matriarch, of the children of God, born into this world, Hebrew and Gentile together. There is no way to measure, the influence, of one godly mother, as imperfect, as she may be. 

Sarai's faults are obvious enough. They are conspicuous and undeniable. She was certainly fallen and sometimes, her faith was weaker than she would have wanted it to be. Her emotions and her desires and her heart, sometimes led her, to make wrong choices. And if those things were all we knew about Sarai------we wouldn't like her very much, and we sure would't want to emulate her. Fortunately, there was much more to Sarai------- and the Lord, in His graciousness, has allowed us to see her long life, played out in the scripture------so that we can see her great strengths, right along, with her weaknesses---which is a blessing to us, because we are just like her!!!!!! Sarai's life, on the whole, is actually characterized, by humility, meekness, hospitality, faithfulness, deep affection for her husband, sincere love toward God and a hope that never died.

(Liz Curtis Higgs, the author of our study, says that we all, are like Sarai, We insist on getting our own way, thinking that we have all the answers and that our answers, are always best, for everyone involved. So what, if we control whom and what we can, whenever we can, pretending not to notice, if someone's toes get pinched, or their heart gets smashed flat, in the process. We think we know best! We don't want to rule the whole world, just our little corner of it. We don't mind waiting for what we want, just a little bit, as long as we can be guaranteed, that we will get our way, in the long run. When God pours His blessings out on us, we are quick, to sing His praises, and we are truly grateful------but you let Him tell us no, or make us wait too long, and we start thinking up, all kinds of ways to expedite the process.

Liz says that if she didn't know better, she would think that an impatient "bad girl" wrote the phrase, "God helps those who help themselves." That phrase isn't found in the bible--------it's a line from one of Aesop's fables-"the gods help them who help themselves". And she goes on to say-----"that maybe the man-made, Greek gods, needed, human effort, to get their jobs done, but that the Lord God Almighty, doesn't need one thing from a human being, man or woman, to accomplish His divine plan.

"Her definition of a slightly bad girl is this: a woman, unwilling to fully submit to God, in every area, every situation, every relationship, of her life." We love God; we serve Him and we worship Him-----but, we find it so hard, to trust Him completely, and to accept His plan, for our lives, and to rest, in His sovereignty. So, we quietly,or not so quietly, depending on the situation, try to take over, the reigns of control------we pray and then we move forward------asking the Lord to bless our decisions, without having heard an answer back from Him. We think we are doing all the right "good-girl" things-------when in reality, we are being as bad, as any "bad girl" as ever been.)

In this study, we have been able to see, that Sarai, is no different from any one of us and we can see, that God used her poor choices and her disobedience and her selfishness and her pride and her disappointment, to draw her closer to Himself, and to finally, in the end, give her the desire of her heart. (which we are going to see in next week's lesson, when He changes her name to Sarah and Abram's name to Abraham )

I. Princess Bride:
Sarai was Abram's half-sister. They lived in 2100 b.c. They were born 10 years apart. Terah was the father to both of them, but they had different mothers. This was not an uncommon practice, in the patriarchal days, that they lived in. Half-sibling, marital relationships, were not considered incestuous, then. Scripture didn't prohibit matrimony, between close relatives, until the time of Moses. One of the main reasons, why the Lord ultimately, forbade the practice, was because of the accumulation of genetic mutations, in the human gene pool, as time went by. God began humankind with two genetically perfect creatures, Adam and Eve, so there was no risk of any hereditary defects.
Only after sin, entered the world, did the dangers, associated with inbreeding, gradually arise. So, it was not a sin for Abram to make Sarai his wife. Scripture doesn't say a whole lot about their early years of marriage, but it does tell us one thing, that we know was a heartbreak to her and to Abram------they had no children because Sarai was barren.

Sarai's name means "my princess". She was the adored darling of her family and of her husband. She was a woman of privilege, in Ur of the Chaldees----which was a city that was the epitome of sophisticated, pagan culture. At the time, Ur, was at the height of its power and influence. It was located in lower Mesopotamia, near the confluence of the Tigris and the Euphrates rivers, in what is present day, Iraq. It was a flourishing and prosperous society. Archeologlists have excavated Ur, and have uncovered objects, of gold and silver and precious stones------as well as, the remains of chariots, musical instruments, weapons and even, game boards. Trade was carried out, over a vast region-------the city's ships went as far as India and Africa, via the Persian Gulf.  Abram and His family must have been wealthy and part of the elite, in their society.

The city government was a superstitious theocracy, which, supposedly, worshiped the Babylonian moon god. This was the culture that built those famously, tall ziggurats, which were massive terraced towers, that had pagan temples at the top. (like the Tower of Babel) Since Abram and Sarai were only 9th generation, descendants, from Shem, the son of Noah-------they might have had some knowledge, passed down to them, about the one true God, from their ancestors. But we don't know since it isn'e mention din the scripture----- but, we do know that they grew up in such a pagan culture------that they probably, would have practiced the pagan religion, until the Lord called Abram, out of Ur, to be the father, of the great, Hebrew nation---and along with him, Sarai, to be the "His Chosen People's", mother. (I think it is interesting to note that the word Hebrew, means "Immigrant"-----because during the whole ancient history of the Jews, even up until today, they are still scattered in countries and cities, throughout the world---waiting for the time, to be able to return, to the Promised Land, that God had called Abram and Sarai to, all those many years ago. They are still immigrants, as a nation.)

It is believed, that that there was a scattered remnant, of true believers, in the world at that time. Theologians believe, that judging from the details in the book of Job, including the length of Job's life span, that he probably lived around the same time as Abram and Sarai. And Job and his friends, clearly, had a thorough familiarity, with the God of their ancestors. They lived somewhere in the Middle East, in the Land of Uz. And in the book of Genesis, somewhere, in the Dead Sea Region, Abram and Sarai met Melchizedek, who represented, an order of itinerant priests, who also knew the one true God, and worshiped Him.

The Lord's purpose in calling Abram and Sarai out of paganism, and into a relationship with Him, was so that they could be the beginning, of the great nation, which would be His witness to the world. Their nation which would have an eternal covenant with God. Through their nation, God's truth would be kept alive and passed down from generation to generation. From their nation----prophets would arise and the scriptures would be written down and preserved, and given to the world. God would dwell in their midst and would establish His sanctuary among them. And from their great nation, the Messiah would come, so that He could bless all the people of the world, by making God real to them.

Because of Sarai's obvious role in this plan, she was surely aware of the Lord's promises to Abram. She, would have longed to see those promises fulfilled for herself, and for Abram. But as long as she remained childless, the sense that everything somehow hinged on her, must have been, like the weight of the world, on her shoulders.

Scripture tells us, that when God told Abram to leave Ur, that he responded to God's command, by assembling his tents and his herds and flocks and herdsmen and serving woman, and that, he and Sarai left their past lives behind, forever. Sarai was very brave and she must have loved Abram very much, to leave her family and her friends, and all the luxuries and comforts that they had-------- to follow God's call, with her husband, into an uncertain future. There is no account that they ever returned to Ur, not even for a visit.
Sometimes, like Sarai, we have to trust the faith of someone else, to lead us in the way the Lord wants us to go------so, that He can then, develop a greater faith in us-----and---- sometimes, we have to turn away from the pleasures of this world and keep our eyes and our hearts, focused on God's promise, of things that are yet come.

Sarai was somewhere around 60-65 years old, when they set out on their journey. She was the exact age, that most people today, think is ideal, for retirement. Sarai wasn't a young woman, even by patriarchal standards, which was a time when people obviously, lived longer and were healthy and agile and vigorous, well past their 60s. The life of a nomad would have been hard on her, for so many reasons-----but there is no evidence, that she, was even a little bit reluctant, to make the trip. She was putting footsteps to a faith, that was only just starting to bloom.

The 1st leg of their journey stalled at Haran, which was about 650 miles, northwest, parallel to the Euphrates River. We don't know how long they stayed there, but they didn't get moving again, until after their father, Terah, who was traveling with them, had passed away and was buried. They traveled another 350 miles further west and then arrived in Canaan. They had a large caravan, and they were traveling on foot, for the most part, even though, they would have had camels and donkeys, and maybe even some horses---they would have been pack animals. All in all, they would have walked 1000 miles.
We can just imagine the anticipation and excitement, mingled with a little fear that they must have felt, as they neared Canaan. And we can also imagine the shock that they must have felt, when they realized, that they had arrived in a country, that was parched, by famine. And they, did the same thing, that way too often, we are tempted to do; they took matters into their own hands-----we know, in our hearts, that God is in control and that He doesn't make mistakes-----but we think in our heads, that He maybe, needs, just a little bit of help from us, to bring about His plans. (Scripture tells us, that this was an issue, that Sarai had to face several times, before she finally figured out, that God doesn't need us, to help him, He can do whatever He wants to do, whenever He wants to do it.) We need to learn to accept the circumstances that God allows into our lives and realize, that we can't keep our focus on the circumstances-------we have to take our focus off of the them and put our focus on the Lord--------then, the circumstances may not change, but our attitude about the circumstances, will change.

Instead of staying, where God told them to, and waiting on Him, to tell them what to do next, they set out on another 300 mile journey, to Egypt, because Abram had heard that there was corn there. But it turned out to be a time of great testing for them--spiritually and for their marriage--------but it was a trial of their own making.

Apparently Sarai was beautiful; she must have been unbelievably so, because the closer that they got to Egypt and the more Abram looked at her, the more frightened he became------for her, certainly, but more for himself. He was afraid that she would be seen and coveted by some Egyptian, maybe even Pharaoh, himself, and that Abram would be killed, in order for someone else, to have her. That was a common practice, in that day-----adultery was punishable by death, but murder wasn't. So, if a man, especially a king or a pharaoh, wanted another man's wife------all he had to do, was kill the man and he could have her, with no repercussions. So, the plan Abram devised, was to tell everybody, the half-truth, that Sarai was his sister, so that they wouldn't be tempted to kill him. We aren't told whether Abram anticipated, that they would take Sarai into the harem or not, but its hard to believe that he considered it very carefully------ since, it would have been, putting her, into grave danger, physically, and God's plan, for a pure people, into grave danger, eternally. Abram loved Sarai, so, even though he was afraid, it doesn't seem to be part of his character, to sacrifice her, for himself, so, he must, have just been hoping, to buy some time, to get into the country, get supplies, and get out of the country, as fast as they could, without calling too much attention, to themselves. 

Abram told a half-truth,but a half-truth is still a lie and its still a sin, and I can't believe that Sarai went along with it-------but she loved Abram, and she knew what the law of the land was and even though, we know that she got frustrated with him and lost her temper twice, she never disobeyed him. And we have to remember,though, that she was a baby, in the Lord, and she didn't know, that you aren't supposed to be submissive to your husband, if he's telling you to sin. Nor should a husband acquiesce to his wife, out of love for her, if she is asking him to sin. But, Sarah's sweet submissiveness, in the face of, probably, her own resistance, to Abram's request, is the reason why God was able to mold her heart, gradually, into submissiveness, to Himself. 1st Peter describes Sarah has having a meek and quiet spirit------Jesus was described in the same way--------This doesn't mean that they were weak, in any way-----the idea of "meek and quiet" comes from the Hebrew understanding, of a wild horse that is full of spirit and energy, but has a willingness to be instructed and the heart, to learn from and obey, a loving master.
God never imposes His will on ours. He allows situations to come into our lives, a lot of times, because of our own choices. And then He uses them to change us. It takes time, to change a rebel, into a child of the King. Thank goodness, God has all the patience in the world and He is willing to take the time on us, that we need---because He believes we're worth the effort, even with all of our frailties.

Pharaoh's stewards, saw her and pointed her out to Pharaoh, and brought her into his harem. Sarai must have been scared to death. Sarai, had made a mistake by lying for Abram-----but God, in His goodness, intervened and protected them. He wouldn't let His plan for them and for the Messiah, be messed up. He sent plagues on Pharaoh and his whole house. Pharaoh was terrified, but must have respected the God, of the 2 Hebrews, because he reprimanded Abram for lying, and gave Sarai back to him and evicted them from his country, with many gifts, which only increased Abram's wealth.

God still intervenes for us, today. Right at the perfect moment, when things seem the darkest-----the Lord will make His appearance, and all will be well. He still protects us, from the messes that we make, by our foolish choices. He called Sarai to a special purpose, and He has called each one of us to a special purpose, too. We need to learn to trust Him, with everything we have.We need to remember, that we have the privilege, of living our lives, in God's constant and powerful presence. No matter where we are; no matter what we have to leave behind, or who, we have to leave behind; no matter where, we're required to go, or what we're asked to give up, or to do without, or no matter how alone we feel, or appear to be, or no matter who has let us down, or who has forsaken us------we are never alone------Psalm 91-4 says, that God's overshadowing wings, are above us; and Deuternomy 33:27, tells us, that God's everlasting arms, are underneath us; and Psalm 34:7, says that the angel of the Lord, encamps, on all sides, around us, to deliver us; and Philippians 4:7, promises us, that God is inside us, with His peace, that passes all understanding and guards our hearts and our minds.

II.Sarai Takes Charge:

When the chastened couple and their entourage left Egypt, to go back to Canaan, Sarai took a new servant-girl with her, a handmaiden, named Hagar------the ancient Hebrew historians believe, that she was one of Pharaoh's own daughters. (Which might explain some of her attitude, later on in the story.) 
Over a period of time, as the years went on, ten years, to be exact-----and the promise of a child didn't happen, Sarai began to doubt, that she was the one, who had been chosen by God, to be the mother, of Abram's seed. She knew that the promise had been made to him, but she began to question, whether it had been made to her, or not. She hatched a scheme, that was so ill-advised and so disobedient, to the Lord, that she regretted it, for the rest of her life. It is incredible, to think that her decision, born out of love for her husband and the desire for a child, could have had the repercussions, that it has had, down thorough the centuries, as the sons of Hagar (the Arabs) and the sons of Sarah (the Jews), are still battling over their inheritance, today. But when we step outside of God's will, we open ourselves up to all kinds of trouble.

But to be fair, from a purely human point of view, we can understand Sarai's despair. (I remember, all to well, the desire to have a child. We had had, Mary Kathryn and Griff only 18 months apart from each other-----and they had been such a blessing that we wanted to have another child 18 months from Griff-------but it wasn't in the Lord's plan-----Lizzie wasn't born until 41/2 years later---after the Lord brought me, to a place, in my faith, where I trusted Him, completely, with the size and make-up of our family. That was only 41/2 years and I was only 31 years old when she was born------and I already had 2 other, healthy, happy children.) Poor Sarai, had been married for about 60 years, at that point in time------she was 75 years old, supposedly, post-menopausal, and completely childless. No wonder, she started to question her ability, to conceive and bear a child. It was natural, for her to think that God was withholding a child from her------and He was----but not because, she wasn't ever going to have one-------but because, it had been His plan all along, for Sarah to have her little boy, in her old age, after every, earthly reason, for hope, was completely dead, so that he could put His power on display----so that all the world would know that He is God. But Sarai didn't call on God----instead she came up with her own solution to the problem. She believed that God intended for Abram to father a child---but she was afraid that time was running out, and that she had to do something.

She called on an ancient law, that stated, that if a wife didn't give birth to a child in 2 years, after their marriage, that she could purchase a slave girl for him and that the child, that was born, would then belong, to the wife and to the husband---- and the wife could, then do, anything she wanted to, with the slave girl. Sarai loved Abram and she knew that the measure of a man's worth, in their culture, was having an heir. She loved him too much, to let Abram die childless. She didn't want him to sleep with another woman-----but she honestly thought she was doing the right thing.
One spouse , for a lifetime, is what the scripture teaches, but because Hagar was "a nothing", just a piece of property, it never occurred to Sarai, that she was outside of the Lord's will, because her motivation wasn't a bad one----it was just a misguided one. She was doing it for herself and Abram, not for the Lord. She honestly thought that she knew what was best. But Abram bore a huge responsibility in this situation too. Because he was a God-fearing man, he should have said, "No Sarai, we're not doing this, God hasn't told us to", but he didn't---he wanted a child, he wanted to please his wife and he wanted to keep peace in his household---he chose to act on human emotion, too, rather than faith, in the Lord's promises.

Sarai led Abram into a situation, that encouraged him to sin. Even though, he had done a similar thing to her, when they went down into Egypt, it wasn't quite the same. He had acted out of fear and concern, but she, had worked her womanly wiles, on him. We have to be so careful, that we don't use the influence that we have over our husbands, and lead them into sin. We have all kinds of weapons in our arsenal, to try and get him, to do what we want him to do. We smile and wheedle and pout and cry and give him the silent treatment and bat our eyes and feed his tummy and stroke his ego------ and 8 times out of 10, we do get him to do, exactly, what we want him to. The reality is, though, that's not how, the Lord, wants us to treat our husbands. He wants us to treat them with respect and honor and care and tenderness and trust and obedience---and if we do, and our husbands ,are following the Lord's teaching, then he will treat us, with love and care and tenderness and respect and honor and he will lead us, into obedience, in the Lord.
A loving marriage, that is grounded in the Lord, will be made up of two people, that seek to draw each other toward the Lord, not away from Him.

The truth is, that is how we should be, in all of our relationships, not just the ones between husbands and wives----we should strive, to point everybody we know, to the Lord Jesus and His desire for the choices that we make and and for the behavior that we exhibit, in every situation that we face. It isn't easy, and it requires a lot of prayer and a lot of patience and a lot of quiet listening, to be able to hear the Lord speak------- and also, it requires a lot of courage, to wait on Him--------and only to speak or move when He tells us to. But, if we're going to be obedient and grow in our faith, to be a woman of God like Sarai, ultimately became, that's what we have to do. We have to pray and rest and trust and then, He, will bring His will, to pass.

III. Mean Girls:

Boy!!!!!!!!!Did Sarai's plan backfire!!!!!!!!!!!!As soon as Hagar became pregnant, she saw herself as equal to or better than Sarai, because she was carrying the heir. (if she was Pharaoh's daughter, the pregnancy, would have given her back, some of her self-esteem). Whatever it was-----she began to feel pretty good about herself---- Scripture says, that she began to despise, her mistress-----and then, this in turn, made Sarai get mad at Abram, and she wound up, blaming him for the whole thing---not for his infidelity, she didn't see it that way, but because he was too complacent-------she wanted him to man up, and put Hagar in her place. She wanted him, as the head of the household, to fix things. She couldn't stand that, he was just hanging around in the background, not saying a word, while her household authority, was being undermined by a menial. (I don't know abut y'all, but there have been many times, when I have blamed somebody else, for a problem, that I've created-----we need to ask the Lord to help us stay clear-sighted-----we need to ask Him to show us what we've done wrong, before we start trying to cast blame on someone else, even if they are guilty, too.

We can see that Sarai was being unreasonable. The whole sordid plan, was all her big idea------- Abram, should have said no to the plan, and he should have scolded Hagar for her treatment of Sarai, like a daddy should scold a child, if that child is disrespectful to their mother, but he didn't--------And, this fit of Sarai's, was deliberately provoked by Hagar. She was utterly insolent to Sarai and it was indefensible.
We can, almost, be certain, that Hagar knew about Sarai's extreme grief, over her own barrenness---and Hagar, deliberately, tried to put salt in the wound. Since Hagar was the servant, and Sarai, was the one in charge, there was, the most brazen kind, of deliberate impudence, going on. The truth is, all 3 of them, were guilty of disobedience, to the Lord and they all, wound up reaping, bitter fruit, from it. 

Abram, had to have recognized, the legitimacy, of Sarai's complaint. And he would have been wise to step in, as an arbitrator and to seek a solution that would have satisfied both women. But, and this is a lesson, for us too, Sarai, was in such a state, that he, just did what a lot of husbands do, he just told her to deal with Hagar, in her own way. How many times, do we miss out, on somebody helping us, with a crisis, because our own lousy attitude and behavior, puts them off, to the point, that they don't want to help us---we wind up cutting our noses off, to spite our faces, because our emotions are out of control.

Scripture says that Sarai dealt harshly with Hagar and that she fled from her presence. What does that mean that she dealt harshly with her?----Being mistreated can mean a lot of different things------Sarai could have made her work harder, by heaping more tasks for her to do on her job sheet---or she could have been verbally, ugly, to her----throwing sharp words at her, to cause her pain. But the closest translation, to the original Hebrew, of this passage, says, that Sarai was abusive to Hagar. Whether that was physical or emotional, we don't know, but, according to the tone of the translation, it was probably both. This doesn't paint a very pretty picture of Sarai----------yes, Hagar was boastful and her attitude was frustrating and she should have been corrected, in the appropriate way----------but striking her physically, and demoralizing her emotionally-----was not the behavior of a godly woman.
There is a warning in this, for all of us. We may not be tempted, to lift a hand against a friend, or our children, or our husbands, or even someone that we don't like---but are we careful with our words and the tone of voice that we use, when we say them. I have to say, that I am not, always.

Tempered steel is heated, and then it's cooled----and somehow this process, makes the metal stronger. That is the way it should be, with our tempers. When our tempers flare, like Sarai's did with Abram and Hagar, we should try cooling them down by dousing them, with the water of truth. What are we really so hot about? Are we too focused on the weaknesses of others to see our own failings? Is there some deep-seated disappointment, from the past interfering with our ability to act justly now? Is our anger righteous, or is it sparked pride and jealousy? In the heat of the moment, the Lord would want us to pause, long enough, for our tempers to cool, knowing, in the long run, that it will make our faith deeper and our character more more beautiful and winsome------and it won't send someone running for safety, from our words or our attitudes.

(Our author, Liz Higgs says, "that, we can if we if we want to, think of Sarai, as a saintly role model, who never stumbled, but she says,that "that would rob Sarai of her human dimension--------and deprive us of the lessons that we can learn, form her." She was a real person, who really lived, just like we are----and her story should give us  wonderful hope--------the Lord wasn't finished with Sarai of Ur, and he isn't finished with you and me either------He loves us, far too much, to let us soak, in our sinfulness or drown in our guilt. We may be slightly bad girls--but He is a really good God------and thank goodness, the One, cancels out the other.")