JOY "A Second Look at Rebekah" April 13

April 13, 2011
A Second Look at Rebekah
Genesis 25:1- 28:8

I.      Contented Wife
II.     Disconcerted Mother
III.    Sibling Rivalry
        a. The Birthright
        b. The Blessing

In one of the commentaries that I read this week, I found an un-foot-noted article, that "sort of" illustrates, just how important, the choices that we make, on a daily basis, are and, just how much, they impact our lives and the lives, of other people around us.
"After a few of the usual, Sunday Evening Hymns, a pastor stood up and walked over to his pulpit. Before giving his sermon for that night, he briefly introduced a visiting minister, who was out in the congregation, and asked him to greet the church and share with them whatever the Lord had laid on his heart, to say, if anything.

The elderly preacher stepped up to the pulpit and this is what he said-----"A father and his son, and his son's friend were sailing off of the Pacific Coast, one day, when a fast-approaching storm blocked any attempt, for them to be able to get back to shore. The waves were high-------the father was an experienced sailor, but he couldn't keep the boat upright and the 3 of them, were swept into the ocean."
Then the old gentleman hesitated for a minute, and made eye-contact with 2 teen-agers, who were sitting on the front row. For the 1st time, since the service had begun, the boys looked like they were interested in what was being said.

Then he continued with his story-----"grabbing a rescue line, the father had to make the most excruciating decision of his life-------which boy would he throw the other end of the lifeline to? He only had seconds to decide. The hard thing was that, he knew that his son was a Christian, but he knew that his son's friend, was not. As the father yelled out, "I love you son", he threw the lifeline to the other boy. By the time the father had pulled the friend back to their capsized boat, his son had disappeared beneath the raging swells, into the blackest night-------his body was never recovered.

At that point in the service, the two teen-agers were sitting up straight in the pew, and were anxiously waiting, for the next words, to come out of the old minister's mouth.
"The father, he continued, knew that his son would step into heaven, with Jesus------and he couldn't bear the thought of his son's friend, stepping into hell, without Jesus. So, he sacrificed his son, in order to save another person's life." "How great is the love of God, that He should do the same thing for us," the old man continued, "our heavenly father sacrificed, his only begotten son, so that we could be saved. I urge you to accept his offer of rescue---and take hold of the lifeline, that He's throwing out to you, in this service." And with that, the very, wise preacher, sat down.

Then, the church pastor, took his place, back in the pulpit------and he delivered a brief sermon, adding a short invitation, at the end. No one responded to the appeal, but, as soon as the service was over, the 2 teen-agers couldn't get to the old preacher, fast enough. "That was a nice story, one of the boys said, but I don't think that it's very realistic to think that a father would give up his only son's life, in hopes, that the other boy would become a Christian." "Well, you've got a point there, the preacher replied, it sure isn't very realistic, is it? But, the truth is, I am standing here today, to tell you that this story gives me, just a glimpse, of what it must have meant for God to give up His son, for me-------You see, I was the father----- and your pastor, was my son's friend."

What that father did, was the right thing, but what a choice he had to make! We can't even begin to comprehend the way, that the decisions, that we make, as wives and parents, and friends, can impact the lives, of the people that we love. Living, in our day to day world------it's hard for us to imagine, that every decision, big or small, that we make in this life, can impact our future, in eternity----but it absolutely can!
Isaac, Rebekah, Esau and Jacob, all had choices to make-----and it seems like all 4 of them, made decisions that they thought were correct, but seem to have been, totally motivated, by the wrong reasons. Studying these chapters and trying to make sense of them and attempting to apply them to us, in the 21st century, is like watching one of those reality shows like "Super-nanny" or Wife-Swap, or the "Housewives of Beverly Hills", with their portrayals, of dysfunctional families.

We don't want to be like them; we want to learn from their mistakes. We read their story, and we try to deny, that they have any similarities to us-------but the truth is, the choices and actions and reactions, of the Isaac family, need to serve, as a vivid reminder, to all of us, of just how prone to failure, that we are. We can see, through them, just how human and frail we are, as we act out of emotion and make misguided choices. But, we can also learn that, even though we do have to deal with the consequences, of the mistakes that we inevitably, do make, and that we are completely undeserving of God's forgiveness and His favor-------He still pours his blessings out on us------- often, when we least expect them and often, in the most unusual and gracious of ways. I think this lesson is a very humbling one and is one that should make our hearts weep with thanksgiving that;
1.) God doesn't let our choices interfere with His sovereign plan and
2.) That He loves us, beyond measure, in spite of ourselves.
I think what I love best about this story is that no matter how hard we try to mess everything up--------God still makes it turn out right.

III. Sibling Rivalry:

a. The Birthright:

When my children were little, they had a tape that they loved to listen to, in the car, that was about this little boy, who was so spoiled, that he got whatever he wanted, when he wanted it----if his parents said no-----which was rare------ he would just yell, "I want it, I want it, I want it, now!" and he would get it. Through a series of hard lessons, both the parents and the little boy learned, that having a case of the "gimmies" was not a good thing---he learned that he needed to be patient and to wait---and his parents learned how to give him only those things, which were good for him.

It seems to me that Esau and Jacob, both, had severe cases of the "gimmies". As they were growing up, it doesn't seem like either of them ever learned to wait for the things that they wanted. Scripture tells us that each child was favored by a different parent. Isaac must have given in to Esau all the time and Rebekah must have given into Jacob. And even though, Isaac and Rebekah were devoted to the Lord, personally------as parents------ their wisdom, seemed to have flown out the window. From what I can tell, after reading this passage, Isaac and Rebekah seemed to be permissive and irresponsible, in the way that they raised their boys. I wonder if they were so enthralled,  by having had them, in their later years, that they just didn't have the heart to tell them no, about anything.
It was probably just easier, to give into their demands, rather than dealing with any kind of confrontation. (Parents and grandparents, who handle their children, in this way, are doing their children a disservice------they are teaching them to have false expectations of what life has to offer. They aren't giving them the opportunity to learn how to struggle, and how to persevere, and how to work hard for something, that they really want.)

Having their 2 boys so close in age, should have made the boys the best of friends, regardless of God's prophecy of their futures and their destinies-----maybe, they should have been the best of friends, because of it-------to know God's plan for our lives, gives us freedom and space to grow, in the way that He wants us to-------no 2 children, in a family are the same-------God has a different path for each of them------it is our responsibility, as parents and grandparents, to help them find their way along the path marked our for them------and ton help them to thrive, without jealousy, and envy and greed toward their siblings or their friends. And, we need to help instill in their hearts, a sense of purpose, to see God's will be done, in every situation.

One of the blessings of having more than one child, in a family, is that you are able to teach them how to handle conflict------they need to learn how to get along with their siblings, within the safe environment, of their family and under the watch-care of loving and fair-minded parents------so that they will learn how to get along with people outside the family, and out in the world, at large. Instead of helping their boys to get along and to value their differences, it seems like Isaac and Rebekah just fanned the flames, of rivalry.

I don't doubt, as I've said before, that Isaac and Rebekah, both loved their sons, (because Esau stayed, and continued to live with them, even after he was married--there had to have been some kind of relationship, with both parents, for him to do that) but the bible does tell us, that each parent preferred, one child over the other one. When a parent shows partiality to a child, it can be a devastating thing-------for the child and for the family, but-----it isn't unusual, it happens all the time.
It actually, is very common, and happens in a lot of families---there are even times, I bet, when each of us, has been guilty of favoring, one child over another one. But a wise, balanced parent, will do something about it------- if they see, that they are being drawn to one child, more than another one. They won't let it become a problem; they will seek the Lord and they will seek godly counseling and they will figure out a way to get beyond it. And this can happen whether the child is 2 or 42 or 62-----it's like I told you last week, we are children till we die or our parents die and we are parents till we die or our children do.

The reasons for parental favoritism are varied-------sometimes, there are deeply-rooted issues, involved, and sometimes, the reasons, are as simple, as one child having a sunnier nature than another one and being more responsive to the parent. A lot of times, the feelings of partiality happen, because of birth-order, or gender or because there are situational or seasonal reasons----- like adolescence or rebellion or common interests, for a time, or life-threatening events or physical disabilities or divorce. Even as grandparents, or aunts or teachers, we can be drawn to one child over another one---------and I don't care how old the child happens to be, they can feel favoritism---whether they are the recipient of it, or whether they are the one being denied. We need to consciously behave toward the child, the way that we want to feel toward them-----and after awhile, the feelings will follow--------and then, hopefully, we will begin to see behavior changes, in the child. (We need to behave our way into a feeling, not try and feel our way into a behavior.)

The differences in Jacob and Esau were even more pronounced, as they grew into manhood. Esau was an outdoorsman-------he preferred wild, uncultivated areas, where he could develop his skill as a hunter. His love of adventure made him physically strong and confident--------he was athletic and must have been, always ready, to jump on the bandwagon, of the next exciting thing, to come along. Scripture says that Isaac loved the meat, that Esau brought home and loved him for bringing it to him. In our culture, Esau, would probably, have been considered, the classic example, of the "red-blooded American male".    

Jacob, on the other hand, seemed to prefer to hang around, the tent camp-site------he was a quiet man, who was self-controlled and dependable and placid and level headed, and clever. He preferred being around the domestic animals and must have been a very good cook. In our culture, he would have probably, been considered, the classic example of "the boy next door". Scripture doesn't tell us why Rebekah preferred him, maybe, it was because he stayed close to home, and she was able to talk to him about the things that she was interested in. Jacob seemed to be natured like his father, Isaac, and Esau seemed to be natured like his mother, Rebekah--------I wonder if the things, that drew Isaac to Rebekah and Rebekah to Isaac, are the things that drew each of them, to the separate boys.

I don't see how the birthright incident, could have been a planned one, but I do see how Jacob manipulated the situation, to get what he wanted. Esau came in from the fields and acted like he was starving to death--------he smelled the lentil stew, that Jacob was fixing for dinner, which was basically a vegetable and pea soup, with lamb, in it. He demanded that Jacob, give him a bowl of it. That's where Jacob saw his chance to achieve what he wanted, and what his mother, had probably told him all his life, was supposed to be his. So, he struck a bargain with Esau------who was willing to trade his birthright, for a bowl of stew.

This is so sad to me------they were 2 brothers, who should have been able to trust each other. It could all have been handled so differently, if the the parents had just raised the boys, with the understanding, that God had a plan and that He would work out that plan, in due time------and that, without any manipulation from them, everything would fall into place, the way that it was supposed to.
But, it didn't happen that way; Hebrews 12:15-17 makes it clear, that Esau could have cared less, about his birthright----------he lived in the moment----he didn't think about what was going to happen tomorrow and he didn't really care. Esau's momentary hunger blinded him to what was really important, and so, he chose to yield himself, to Jacob's bargain. When do we let momentary hunger, for the things of this world, blind us to what is really important? I am afraid, that it happens, way too often, when we take our focus off of eternity and allow it to fall casually, on temporal circumstances.

It's interesting that scripture condemned Esau right then, but it doesn't condemn Jacob, even though, both men were in the wrong. The difference was that Esau was throwing away spiritual things and Jacob was seeking them. God didn't need for Jacob to manipulate anything--------He would have placed Jacob, where He wanted him to be, if Jacob had just been patient.
God's will was accomplished, though, in spite of the fact, that Jacob went about it in the wrong way-------- Jacob's manipulation of the circumstances, didn't cause anything, but unnecessary heartache, for everybody involved.
Is there anything in our lives, right now, that we're trying to manipulate?-------if there is, we need to stop and give it to the Lord and then, sit back and wait on Him let His will be done.

What is a birthright? It was the special status that belonged to the first born son that made him the principle heir and entitled him to  receive a double portion of all of his father's wealth---------and it meant, that upon his father's death, that he would assume all authority, as the head of the family and most importantly, he would be the spiritual leader, who would be responsible, for passing on the covenant promises of God, to the next generation, including the physical line, for the child of promise. The birthright could be bought or sold; the right to it, could be lost; and the father, could give it away.

Once the birthright blessing had been given, it couldn't be taken back-------that is why it was usually bestowed on the son, when the father was near the point of death.
Jacob desired these spiritual blessings, and Esau didn't. He treated his birthright like it was a worthless thing. Esau's apathy for it, was a reflection of  what was going on in his heart. Spiritual apathy, robs us, of our joy in the Lord and of the rewards, that God wants
us to have and, it robs us, of being able to be a blessing, to other people.
Jesus Christ is our birthright------we need to be so careful that we are never tricked into giving Him up, for a pot of stew, that the world might offer us. We can never lose our salvation, but we can lose our peace and our joy and our satisfaction in Christ, alone.

b. The Blessing:

Gathering around the table, for a blessing or a meal or for fellowship, was a familiar setting, to pass a blessing on to a child, during Bible times. It still is, actually. It was also normal for a father, to gather his sons around him and to bless them publicly, before he died--------why Isaac thought he was going to die, in a short amount of time, I don't know-------- because, he wound up living, another 40 years, or so. But, for some reason, he did, and he chose to speak to Esau about it, privately and promised him his patriarchal blessing. Its sneaky in the way that he did it. He should never have even considered giving the blessing to Esau------especially since he had been privy, all along, to God's prophecy to Rebekah, about the boys. Plus, you know that he knew, all about how Esau, had sold his birthright to Jacob.  And, Isaac would have known, that God intended for the son, who held the birthright, to be the one, who would receive the covenantal, spiritual blessing.

Rebekah overheard the secret plan that Isaac and Esau had concocted------and she came up with one, of her own.
I would like to think that she loved Esau, even though Jacob, was her favorite-----but just like love can blind us, sometimes, so can disappointment.  I cannot imagine that she didn't know what had transpired, between the 2 boys and the birthright. And, I can only imagine, how disappointed she must have been, over Esau's disregard for the birthright and his dishonor and his disobedience, to she and Isaac, when he married 2 Canaanite women.
She was a mother, just like a lot of us are, and her disappointment, in Esau, had to have clouded the issue for her, in some way.  Her judgement had to have been skewed, because of it.  And, another thing that was fueling Rebekah's involvement, in the whole thing, was, that she was the person, that God had personally, spoken to, about the rightful recipient of the blessing, in the 1st place. She knew that God had told her that the blessing was meant for Jacob and she didn't want him to be cheated out of what was divinely his. Any of us might have done the same thing that she did------we try to bring about God's will, by our own control. When will we ever learn that God doesn't need our help?

What should she and Jacob have done?
I'll tell you what they should have done--------they should have learned their lesson, the last time that Jacob manipulated his brother and waited on God, but they didn't!  During her pregnancy, Rebekah had gone to the Lord 1st and then to Isaac-------She should have done the exact same thing, again, but she didn't. Instead, she and Jacob, both did the worst thing that they could have done--------they resorted to lies and a heinous deception! Jacob was reluctant at first, not because he didn't' want to lie to his father, but because he didn't want his father to catch him in his deceit, and think that he was making fun of him. (it's funny, isn't it, how often we are reluctant to do something, on the grounds that its sin--------and then we turn right around and do something else, that is every bit as much of a sin------we pride ourselves on being a person, who doesn't talk about other people and then, we turn around, and tell the next juicy bit of gossip, under the guise of sharing something that needs to be prayed about. The motivation for our actions, needs to be checked, in every situation).

Unlike Isaac, Rebekah seems to have had a good reason, for what she did-------but the end, clearly, did not justify the means. She did wrong and even though, she was willing to take the blame for it, she still encouraged Jacob, her own son, to sin right along with her. (We need to be so careful, as parents and grandparents and wives and sisters and aunts and friends-------- that we don't lead our loved ones into sin----while we're trying to  to secure, what we perceive, to be the best, them. If we aren't prayed up and focused on the Lord Jesus, then we will do just about anything to get our way. Because, the truth is, anybody will do anything, in any situation--------when we are blinded by our selfish desires.)

Rebekah's actions were a continuation of the false belief, that a lot of people have, which is, that God needs our help, to bring about His will. She thought that events were escalating to a point that she needed to force God to show His hand. God didn't need her though. He is always faithful to fulfill His word, in the right time and in the right place. In our hearts, we know that she was wrong-------but in our minds, we can understand her panic. God had already told her His plan, but she didn't trust Him enough to believe that He was going to bring it about, in time.

I am a strong-willed woman, just like Rebekah was---------(I think a lot of the women, in this room, might be)-------I am just arrogant enough, to think that I know what is right for each individual member of my family------and a lot of times, I think, that if they would just listen to me, then they would never find themselves up a creek without a paddle (one of my favorite sayings)---------and I'm not talking about, just my immediate family-------I'm talking about my siblings and their children and Dale's brother and his family and even Nana and Papa--------I think I can fix everybody's problems. The problem with that though, is that I don't have all the answers, Jesus does-----------and way too often,I take my focus off of Him, and put it on me. Jesus is the only one who can find our paddle and give it to us, when we're up the creek without it. I am always amazed, at just how wrong we can be, when we run ahead of God. Which we do most often, when it concerns something that we desire so desperately, for a loved one, or when it concerns something,that we believe that God has revealed to us, in His plan, for a loved one.

(I have been surprised by my personal feelings, of loss, over Griff's chosen profession------his career has nothing to do with me, and he loves it--------but I always thought, that he was going to go to college and major in history and would go to law school and would become a lawyer and then he would become a judge and then someday, he would be the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court and would be a fine Christian example, to the whole country. Sounds good, doesn't it? you laugh, but its true---that's what I had pondered in my heart, for his whole life. I was heartbroken when he chose to major in economics and become a banker----with the possibility of politics, maybe looming, somewhere, in the distant horizon.
Bless his heart-------I have finally stopped asking him, "are you sure?" The truth is, Griff is God's child, more than he is mine and I know, that God knows, far better than me, the plan that He has mapped out, for him. My responsibility, as his parent, is to pray for him and to trust that he is walking on the path, that God has called him to-------and I need to take any selfish desires or motivation, that I may have, out of the picture, completely.)

We need to check our hearts for what our motivation is, when we advise a loved one------there are 3 questions that we need to ask ourselves:
1.) What is our motive? God can reveal our pure motives to us, just as easily, as He can reveal our impure ones. When we ask Him, He will let us know, when we're on target and when we're not.
2.) Are we giving godly counsel? Are we using God's Word to give counsel, or are we offering advice, from life experiences. We need to give counsel from the Word-------we should always point people to the scripture, to line up their decisions with.
3.) How much of the desired outcome of our advice, has to do, with our own selfish desires?  We have to take our own personal feelings out of the equation and trust God to know what is best for our loved one.

After the deception was discovered-------Rebekah overheard Esau saying that he was going to bide his time and then he was going to kill Jacob. She didn't want to lose both of her sons, at one time------because, if Esau killed Jacob, then a close family member was honor-bound to avenge his death, by killing Esau-------and Rebekah didn't want to run the risk of that, so she acted quickly. Isaac and Rebeckah's marriage must have been stronger than it looked, because she went to him and convinced him that Jacob needed to leave, so that he could find a wife, that would pleasing to him, and to them, from among her people in Haran. Esau's Caananite wives, had been such a disappointment to them. I think that she was counting on the fact, that getting Jacob out of Esau's sight for awhile, would help to calm Esau down. She might have also been hoping, that because the blessing had already been given, and couldn't be taken back, that their family rift could be healed and they could all live happily ever after, if they let a little time and distance come between Jacob and Esau.

Isaac was convinced, by Rebekah's counsel, of the wisdom, of sending Jacob, to find a wife, in Haran. And Isaac was repentant, of the sin, of stepping outside of the Lord's will.  Isaac's faith, must have been renewed, as he realized that God had brought about His purposes, in spite of the disobedience and manipulation, from all 4  Isaac, family members. Isaac urged Jacob, to go to his Uncle Laban's home and take a wife, who believed in Jehovah, from among the cousins, that he would find there. Then, he gave Jacob, a much richer, fuller, blessing, than he had given him earlier-------and that blessing, was a lot closer to the promises that Isaac, himself, had received from God.
Rebekah never got to see Jacob again because she died and was buried before he came back to Canaan, many years later.

Our author, Liz Curtis Higgs, says, "Lord have mercy on us." she says that the Lord included troublesome stories, like this one in His word, not so, that we can criticize the actions of Rebekah and others, but so that we can discover similar failings in our own lives, confess the truth about them and be set free. She says, "Lord have mercy on us, for all the times that we have tried to garner blessings for our children, rather than teaching them patience". She says, "Lord have mercy on us, for all the moments that we have been slightly bad wives, in order to seem like, we are really good moms." She says, "Lord,have mercy on us, for all the hours, that we have wasted plotting and planning and fretting------when we could have been praying. And then, she says, " O Lord have mercy on us, for the myriad ways, that we resemble our sister, Rebekah.

If Rebekah's example prods us, onto a truer path, in our own walk with God, then this sad story, will have served the happy purpose, that God intended for it to. When we can comprehend that our all-knowing, all-powerful, God, is, as it says, in 2 Timothy 1:12, "fully able, to keep that, which we've committed to Him…" and when we can understand, that He is able to accomplish His will in our lives, and in the lives of our children, without our manipulations, then we can cooperate more patiently and confidently----even joyfully----- with His methods and receive the blessings that He wants to give us.