March 28, 2012
Bored to Distraction
Potiphar's Wife
Genesis 39:1-20
I Be On Your Toes
II Be Surrounded By Support
III Be Loving to Your Husband
IV Be Ready to Confess
A few years ago, there was a small community, in northeastern Pennsylvania, that built a little red brick building, that was supposed to be their police department, their fire department and their city hall. They were extraordinarily proud of it, because it, was the result, of a whole town's, careful planning and sacrificial giving. When the building was completed, they had a ribbon-cutting ceremony and more than 6 thousand people came-----it was the biggest event of the year---the whole town turned out, along with many invited guests.
For about 2 months everything was great---- but then, the town officials began to notice that there were some ominous cracks, on the side of the red brick building. And not long after that, they could tell, that the windows, weren't able to shut all the way----Then it was discovered that the doors wouldn't close properly. Eventually, the floor shifted and left ugly gaps in the floor coverings and the corners. Then the roof began to leak. Within a few months, the building had to be evacuated----to the embarrassment of the builder, and to the bewilderment and the frustration of the tax payers.
Trying to find answers----the town hired a group, to analyze, what in the world had happened----- and they discovered that the blasts form a nearby coal mine were slowly, but very effectively, destroying the building.
Imperceptibly, down below the foundation, there were small shifts and changes, taking place that had caused the whole foundation to crack. It couldn't be seen or felt, from the surface-----but underneath it all, there was a definite weakening, that led to the building being condemned. And ultimately, it had to be demolished.
The moral here, and why this is a perfect illustration, for this week's lesson, is, that erosion goes unnoticed, when you flirt with temptation----- until---- your character is so weakened, that it becomes permanently damaged, and in many cases, completely destroyed.
Back when Dale and I used to teach high school Sunday school----We used to do an exercise with the students, that encouraged them, to be able to recognize just what temptation is----- because it can come, in all sorts, of very lovely and exciting and enticing, shapes and sizes, and we don't always recognize it, for what it is.
And we always used this episode, in Joseph's life, as the background text, for the lesson.
The students, had to write on an index card, 6 things that they might be tempted to do---not just in the here and now, but in the future, too-----and then on the back, they had to write 6 practical ways, that they could resist the temptation. We let them share their responses, with the group, and then they were to either keep them in their wallets or their bibles, so that they could be reminded what to do, when the temptation reared its ugly head. Our reasoning for this, was, that we wanted them to know, what they were going to do with temptation (how they were going to get themselves out of it) before they were ever faced with it.
We got some very hilarious responses but we also got some very insightful and wise ones, too. (I remember one was-- you are in the car and your kissing pretty hot and heavy---turn the radio up as loud as you can-----and that will break the moment!---another one was----go to the bathroom---look in the mirror and ask yourself---do I really want to do this (that came from Lizzie's pediatrician---she said it had saved her, many times, in many situations, not just sexual ones)
I think this is an exercise that we could all benefit from-----not just our teenagers----we might not all be tempted by sexual adultery, like Potiphar's wife was------but we are all tempted by something----spending too much money; eating unhealthfully(either too much or too little, are neither one, good for us); too much internet and face book and texting and tweet chatting; too much exercise; too much volunteering, too much control over our husbands and our children; too involved in our hobbies and entertainment; too wrapped up in the lives of our children or grandchildren; too much TV(in our mother and grandmother's day---women were obsessed with daytime soap operas----now, it's all-day-long, reality TV that we are fixated on).
Some things, that we're tempted by, can be very good things, in themselves-----its when the desire or the need for them, make us discontent, or they supersede anything and everything else, that they become a bad thing for us. Anything, that pulls us away from our focus, on the Lord, or from our responsibilities as wives and mothers and grandmothers, needs to be evaluated, in light of eternity.
I believe that Potiphar's wife was lonely, and I think that loneliness, encourages us, to entertain ideas about things; and encourages us to participate in things, that we wouldn't other-wise do. I think it can make us discontent and bitter and angry. I think it pushes us, toward looking for love, in all the wrong places-----not just physical love, from a person, who doesn't belong to us----but in anything, that will ease the suffering, of a broken heart, that's lonely.
It can encourage us, to spend more time and energy on going out to lunch and shopping with girlfriends than we should; it can encourage us to spend too much time on committees and activities at church and at school or in the community, than we have time or energy for; it can encourage us to spend countless hours, on the computer and let everything else fall by the wayside; it can encourage us to be obsessed with food---either to the point of obesity or anorexia(anorexia and bulimia in middle-aged women is becoming an epidemic); it can encourage us to either sleep too much or not sleep enough; it can encourage us to be too focused on our physical appearance--- we can become obsessed with botox, and lifts, and nips and tucks, wherever we think our body needs them; it can encourage us to play too much tennis or golf; it can encourage us to read so many romance novels, that real life, can't even begin, to compete with them; it can encourage us to become dissatisfied, with what we have, so that we start thinking that somebody else's grass, is way greener than ours.
( A few weeks ago, a friend told me, that she had a strange experience on an airplane, that she'd never had before----She began talking to a man, about her age, as they were coming back from California---so it was a day-long trip----She said, at first-----it was very general conversation and very pleasant---so much so, that she found herself enjoying talking to him, in the way that she didn't, with anybody else, except her husband----the longer they talked, the more intimate the conversation got---not sexual intimacy, but their "hopes and dreams" (which is really worse)----red flags didn't' go off, until he got up to go the bathroom---and she realized, in reflecting on their conversation, that something didn't feel right---so when he came back to sit down---she told him she was going to take a nap---and when they stopped for a lay-over---she changed seats.-------She loves her husband and they have a healthy marriage----but talking so intimately, with a strange man, had the potential, to the lay the groundwork, for comparison, between him and her husband-----and for the seeds of discontent and dissatisfaction, on her part, in her marriage, to begin to grow----She was wise, to listen to the Holy Spirit, and to cut the conversation, as soon as she felt uncomfortable-----there's nothing wrong with having conversation, with other men----- but somewhere, along the way, it had crossed a line---and she made the right decision to end it, without making an issue out of it---- And then, when she got home, she told her husband about it---which was also right---because secret thoughts, can only hurt us, if they stay secret----if we bring them out into the open, they, most of the time, will lose their attraction.)
Or, we can go in the opposite direction----instead of doing too much, and seeking satisfaction and peace and contentment and excitement and joy in our lives, in the wrong ways--- we just don't do anything----we begin to pull back from activities, and away, from people and we hide ourselves and our loneliness, behind empty words and closed doors and veiled eyes and sometimes, even medication-----and I don't know which is worse-------looking to find love and satisfaction, in all the wrong ways, or not looking for it, at all.
Potiphar's wife, didn't have any way of knowing the Lord Jesus-----but, she could have listened to Joseph, and learned to know His God--------but she didn't, she chose a different route. But, she was spared the physical act of adultery, because Joseph, loved God and was obedient to Him, and was an honorable man, toward his employer-----it would have been hard for most men, even men who love their wives, or men, who are believers, to resist the temptation, she dangled in front of him, day after day------it would be the rare man who would leave his clothes and run!
But, on this side of the cross, we know Jesus and we talk to God and we don't ever have to be lonely----and we never, ever, have to look for love, in all the wrong places. The Lord Jesus will give us direction and guidance and comfort and peace and encouragement and satisfaction and purpose and importance. He will give us the strength and the confidence and the discernment, to resist any temptation---- and He will, fill up, our hearts to the overflow, with the desire, to color our days and our homes and the places we go, and the hearts of the people that belong to us, and, the people we meet, with His love, and His blessing, and His joy.
Sigmond Freud wrote, that "a human being's spiritual longings are just frustrated sexual desires"------but the Bible, tells us that, all of our earthly desires, are a lot of times, frustrated, spiritual longings------To be able to recognize and resist temptation and to allay desires that are bad for us, we don't have to have greater and greater will-power----we have to have a better and deeper and more intimate, relationship with the Lord Jesus. Knowing that the creator of the universe is looking at you and me, and calling us by name and saying, "I love you and I have given myself for you and to you," is all we need------that's the only security we need, to resist temptation and that's the only cure we need, to free us from loneliness.
We don't even know the name, of Potiphar's wife--------she has no identity of her own. No wonder, she went looking for love, in an uncertain place-----none of us, like to feel that we don't have a place or a purpose----we all like to be called by our names----it helps us to feel like we matter---that somebody cares, that we're living in the world----and we like to know, that somebody's noticed us. ( I've always had to go with Dale, to different business functions, and many times, I meet the same people over and over again--------and most times, they never remember my name, especially the men don't, I'm just Dale's wife----In the early days, it bothered me, but not any more and not for a very long time----- because, over time, I became God's daughter and I became Mary Kathryn's momma and Griff''s mama and Lizzie's mommy, and I became Beverly's friend and Kara's neighbor and Emily and Harley's aunt and Shirley's sister and the 10th grade's SS teacher, and JOY's wrap up leader and the church's co-wedding director and Joe and Ashley's mother-in-law, and Tegan's godmother and Ollie and William's DebDeb and soon I'll be my grandbaby's Marmie-------and the truth is, I love being all of those things, especially God's daughter and Dale's wife----//////////so now---- I would be happy for any of them, or all of them, to be etched on my tombstone-------because they define me and they identify me.) But poor Potiphar's wife, she has lived in history, as a household name, synonymous, with bored housewives and adulterous temptresses. That would be awful!!!!!!!!!
So, we need to be happy, and satisfied and content, with the names, that we're known by---and if we don't like them or if they aren't pleasing to the Lord, then we need to do something about them---change our ways or our attitude or our focus-----and become known by a new name----one that we are proud, to be identified by----and one that pleases the Lord .
We have an advantage over what Joseph had, when he had to deal with Potiphar's wife----because, we can look at Jesus, though the words of scripture---- and we can hear His voice, saying----" I love you"--- ( we can know how much He loves us? not, because of how pleasant our circumstances are------ but because of the price, that He paid for our sins, when He died on the cross.) And, we can know how much God loves us, because He thought you and I were worth it, for Him to crucify Jesus, to save us. God's love and Jesus' sacrifice, has given us a new name, if we've accepted Him as our Savior--- because now, we will forever be known as the "beloved of Jesus, who has been saved by His grace"!
Liz Curtis Higgs, lists in her book, 4 lessons, that we can learn from Potiphar's wife:
1.) Be on our Toes: We never know when temptation is going to ring our doorbell---and it doesn't just knock respectfully---it lays on the doorbell relentlessly-----like my little neighbor does, when he really wants me to come to the door----he rings it over and over again. Mrs. Potiphar, didn't just tempt Joseph one time, it was day after day; and I have no doubt that she made herself more and more attractive, with each attempt. But it seemed like Joseph, just got stronger and stronger, each time she tried to engage him.
He couldn't get away from her, without getting into trouble, because he was owned by her husband----so He dealt with her persistent pursuit, in 3 stages-----1st----he tried to reason with her, by pointing out, that it would be dishonoring to her husband, who had put him a position of leadership and trust, if he yielded to her; 2nd----he tried to help her understand that it would be dishonoring to His God, if he yielded to her, because God would have seen it as adultery and an immoral liaison between them; and 3rd------he ran---there was nothing else he could do-----she couldn't be reasoned with. So, he did the right thing, even though, it meant that he had to go to jail, for something he didn't do----he honored God and God continued to honor Joseph----God blessed him, even in prison----and we know, that he later elevated him, to the 2nd most important position, in the land of Egypt, and allowed Joseph, to be the means of saving his whole family.
We need to know, what we're going to do, when we're faced with temptation, before it happens-----and if we try everything we know to try, and all else fails, we need to run, as fast as we can----- and let God to take care of the situation! Christian women find themselves trapped every day, in difficult situations, that tempt us to sin. We need to be spiritually aware, and alert to everything, that's going on around us. Ephesians 5:15-16 says, "Be very careful then, how you live---not as unwise but as wise, making the, most of every opportunity, because the days are evil."
II. Be Surrounded by Support:
Mrs. Potiphar sent the servants away. She did it on purpose, but we need to make sure that we avoid all appearances of evil, and that we don't set ourselves up for failure. (One example, is, that we need to be careful, when we have handymen in our home---that we're dressed appropriately and that we keep the idle chatter to a minimum.)
And for other things, that we find ourselves engaged in, that aren't sexual in nature, but that may be leading us, in a wrong direction---we need to have accountably with somebody, that we trust, who will point us, always to the scripture---we need to look to them, to encourage us, whether to say yes to an activity or not; or to continue with one we're already involved with, ot to stop it; or whether to run from it, as fast as we can. When a friend comes to us, to give us some godly counsel----we need to listen to them----line up what they say with the scripture, and then handle whatever the situation is, appropriately-----(I've had to be talked to before, about saying yes, to too many things. They were good things----but so many of them, that I was being spread, way too thin-------and a wise friend told me to go to Deuteronomy 12:13, where it says, "Do not burn your sacrifices where I have not told you to." And that, changed my life and my focus,----- to do, not what I want to do or not what I can do and not what somebody else wants me to do----- but but to just do, what the Lord has called me to, when He's called me to do it.
III. Be Loving to your Husband:
If we fill our minds with movie stars and romantic-life styles and romantic heroes in books--it can make us dissatisfied with real life----the best thing for us to do, is to wrap our arms around our husbands and tell them how much we love them, and how grateful we are for them, and how well they take care of us, and provide for us, and how much we need them---- and then we need to whisper in their ears, as Liz Curtis Higgs says, the same words, that Mrs. Potiphar said to Joseph-----Joseph refused------but there aren't' many husbands that will----they need to know that they are loved and cherished and desired--------
And if its a romantic lifestyle, that we're seeking----we need to go out and serve somebody else who's in need----physically, emotionally or spiritually-------it will take our minds off of ourselves and will put our minds, where they belong, which is on "loving the Lord our God with all our hearts, minds and strength and our neighbors, as ourselves".
IV. Be Ready to Confess:
It is easy to blame someone else when we're tempted to sin. We always want it to be someone else's fault. Potiphar may or may not have seen through his wife's lies, but the Lord that we love and who loves us, does. He sees everything------there is no place we can go that He doesn't see us. Once we recognize that fact, it makes it easier, for us to go to him and talk to him about the temptation, and ask Him to help us conquer it----or if we yield to the temptation----it makes it easier for us to go to Him and confess it and repent of it and ask Him to forgive us. And He will--------Psalm 51:10-12 says, "Create in me, a clean heart, oh Lord, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me."
Dietrich Bonhoeffer (the great German, Lutheran pastor who defied Hitler) said this in his book Temptation-------"In our members , there is a slumbering inclination towards desire which is both sudden and fierce. With irresistible power, desire seizes mastery over the flesh. All at once, a secret, smoldering fire is kindled. The flesh burns and is in flames. It makes no difference, whether its sexual desire or ambition or vanity or desire for revenge or love of fame and power or greed for money or finally, that strange desire for the beauty of the world, of nature. Joy in God is…extinguished in us and we seek all our joy in the creature. At this moment, God is quite unreal to us, He loses all reality, and only desire for the creature is real; the only reality is the devil. Satan does not fill us with hatred of God, but with forgetfulness of God…the lust, thus aroused, envelops the mind and will of man, in deepest darkness. The powers of clear discrimination and of decision, are taken from us."
The most important lesson that we can learn from this story about Potiphar's wife, is that we never have to yield to temptation----we have the Holy Spirit living inside of us and we can put on the full armor of God, every day, which, enables us, to resist any dart, that satan hurls at us----Ephesians 6:10-13 says, "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against satan's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil, in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."
Then pass out index cards...
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